When you walk alone

It's a long and lonely road when you know you walk alone!

 38 years of existence and the one thing I've trully learnt is that no matter what people say, no matter what people do, no matter how much I give and no matter how much I pay, I will always be alone. A ghost lost in a war zone where there is nothing but chaos and a sense of drowning where you only come up for air when someone rescues you, but then they see who I truly am and then let go turning their back on me and not watching how I go back down drowning in this void where I feel raped and carved by guilt and tormented by desire.

A Demon, a ghastly ghost that doesn't even deserve to be touched for money or love. What crime did I commit, how many did I kill? What did I do to deserve a body like this where I can only observe and watch everything fade away while I stay remaining, alone and cold with no warmth. Will I ever decay or is it my curse to remain lost and lonely for the rest of eternity?

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