Morning Phlegm

T here are times that I feel weak in choosing which path to take, each moment that I choose to live can become a gift or a mistake. Controlled by my desire to make this life a better place, my canvas cries tears of shame, for what I have painted is a disgrace. Chiselled by my guilt I walk in shame , for my arrogance covers my soul, for which I cannot hate, how many times will I fall and hope it's not too late, for you to save me as I slip through your hands of grace. The end I see is lying await, is a door made of pain and carved in shame, eyes shut now as they burn with fire, of a desireless man who's caught in the myer. As I get to the door I give a knock, in hope to walk away from the door unlocks. A cold stern voice that I cannot tell, says to me "hello friend, welcome to hell".

Suffering is an avoidable gift which you gave me, which I carry as a burden as I walk towards the end, my end......... Do you ever think you could kill a million people in a blink of an eye and then just turn away and walk? As the blade drops from your hand, you just keep walking, never looking back. The difference between hate and love is the indifference that's left between us now. So just keep walking, just keep walking now. Don't look back. Bloody footsteps engrave my destiny as I open my palms to read what you wrote on them blinded by desire I cannot even see anymore. Where am I going, where have I never been before? Everything I gave, you took, you raped me of every silence between every scream, leaving me to drown in a sea of pain unimaginable to anyone that tried to believe my words. Selfish you said I was, everything I did I did for myself you said. A truth which I choked on each time I saw you. A truth I chose, a truth that you chose to hide from the narcissistic ...