Morning Phlegm

If I had just one cigarette to burn into me, to put out an endless fire. To feel alive, to be able to breathe, to burn away the coils of a reality that's not mine but.......sshhhhhhh! Can't say that word, can't give you more ammo for you to shoot into my being again. Just one cigarette. Just one more scar to make me submit to your will which I can't, won't....just don't, feel like it, just don't feel, I just don't feel anymore. Peel away my skin to find a talking corpse who denies everything but me, my and I.

Cut me! Please cut me. Why won't you cut me? Why? WHY? I need it just once, just once....please. Need to feel alive in this suffocating place you call "world". I need to BREATHE. Need to forget her, you, everything, just once. Why won't you cut me? WHY? Pain is not a drug I want anymore, I just want life, I want to feel alive! Free me from this cage Free me from this thoughts Free me from this Rage Disease me please Cut me! Please cut me. Cut me please Fuck me, please Fuck me.....please CUT ME!

Happiness is a whore that loves you for a few hours whilst dreaming of the next She will kiss away your sores, love you like a lover and make you feel like a king An ethos of hedonistic desire that can never fill that void Drown head first in a sea of passion spineless I am for being blind A dark heart broken by a hammer of filth Lost now forever and not to be found Dragged away by her dogs Lost in a wilderness of thoughts Awake I am now to my only true friend Sorrow who will never leave me for another Betrayed never as she will be there till the end Bite me into oblivion Kiss me deeper than darkness itself Fuck me until I bend to your will I bow to no other but you for you were there when I was born You will be there until I die

So where have I been? Did you miss me? Well, I'm here now so don't worry, I never forgot you. Will you hold me, dig your nails deep into my soul so that I cannot leave? Will you bite me so that your mark is engraved into me? I wish I could say that I have come back as a new man, as a stronger man, as a better man, but I cannot give you that privilege or bestow you that gift. How can you change the unchangeable? For I am dammed, you know that, I know that, and she knows that! But what I will say is that some things cannot be forgotten nor forgiven. This song I dedicate to the one who killed me and made me see that I am much more than what they think of me and that the art of manipulation is not just for the divine or the devil but also for the heartless witches that walk these mortal planes.